BREAKING: Biden Announces 'Major Crackdown' on Second Amendment

White House occupant Joe Biden is telling gun owners and guardians of the Second Amendment to "be reasonable" as he pined for an assault weapons ban and talked of the need to crack down on "rogue" gun dealers.

Biden blamed a lack of jobs and gun purchases from other states for the spike in crime in democrat-run cities. He predicted a higher-than-normal amount of summer crime and touted solutions like cognitive behavioral therapy and social programs.

Biden's account handlers tweeted,

To combat gun violence and violent crime, we’re going to:

- Stem the flow of firearms
- Advance community policing
- Invest in evidence-based community violence interventions
- Expand summer programming and employment opportunities

The often-befuddled Biden tripped over the prompts on his teleprompter, skipping essential words and slurring his speech. The executive order-loving septuagenarian insisted that he is protecting the Constitution while twisting its meaning.

Biden said that the second amendment to the Constitution dictates the types of weapons Americans are allowed to own. He also confused and alarmed many by warning that patriots would need F-15s and possibly even nuclear weapons to go up against the government.

"The second amendment from the day it was passed limited the type of people who could own a gun and the type of weapon you could own. You couldn't buy cannon, those who say the blood of patriots y'know and all the stuff about how we're going to have to move against the government. Well the tree of liberty is not water of the blood of patriots. What's happened is, that there never been, if you wanted you think you need to have weapons to take on the government, you need F-15s and maybe some nuclear weapons. The point is that there's always been the ability to limit rationally limit the type of weapon that can be owned and who can own it."

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